When I chose the name Abide, I wanted it to reflect more than a service or organization.
To abide means to stay, to remain, to endure — even when love is complicated, even when stories are heavy, even when healing takes time.
In adoption, to abide is an invitation — to remain present with what is hard, to hold space for what is unknown, and to honor the layers of love and loss that adoption always carries.
Adoption is often described as a beginning — a new family, a new chapter, a new start. But it’s also a continuation. It’s about what remains: the connections, the stories, the histories, and the identities that continue to grow and evolve over time.
For me, the symbol that best captures this meaning is the tree.
The Tree as a Symbol of Abiding
The tree reminds us that we are all connected to something greater than ourselves — to history, to lineage, to community. The roots anchor us in where we come from. The trunk represents our values and strengths that help us stand tall. The branches reach outward toward new experiences and relationships, while the leaves hold the stories and people who shape us.
In my work, I often use the Tree of Life exercise — a therapeutic approach that invites people to reflect on their own roots, values, and hopes. Each part of the tree symbolizes an important part of our story:
- Roots: where we come from, our family, ancestry, and experiences.
- Trunk: our strengths, skills, and values.
- Branches: our dreams, hopes, and relationships.
- Leaves and fruits: those who have supported and nourished us.
The Tree of Life helps people reconnect with identity, belonging, and story — reminding them that even when life brings change, the roots still matter.
When I think about the name Abide through the lens of the Tree of Life, I see how each member of the adoption triad — the birth family, adoptee, and adoptive family — abides in their own way.
For Birth Parents: Abiding in Love and Legacy
For birth parents, abiding means staying connected to love, even when separated by circumstance. Their roots represent the beginning of their child’s life — the soil of story, ancestry, and care that continues to nourish that child, even when parenting looks different.
Through the Tree of Life, birth parents are reminded that their love and influence remain present. The act of creating an adoption plan, writing letters, or sharing pieces of their story all become ways to plant roots that will continue to sustain the child in the years to come.
To abide, for birth parents, is to remain rooted in love — to continue to be part of the story even when they cannot be part of the daily life.
For Adoptees: Abiding in Identity
For adoptees, abiding means learning to hold both their roots and their branches — both where they came from and where they are now.
The Tree of Life becomes a visual way to explore the complexity of identity. Some adoptees may feel that parts of their roots are missing, hidden, or hard to access. Others may be actively nurturing new branches as they grow into who they are.
Abiding, for adoptees, means giving themselves permission to explore all of it — the love, the grief, the curiosity, and the questions. It’s about knowing that their story is not one of replacement, but of expansion. Their tree may grow in more than one direction, but it remains whole.
For Adoptive Parents: Abiding in Relationship
For adoptive parents, abiding means parenting with humility and awareness. It’s recognizing that their role is not to replace the roots but to tend the soil that allows the tree to grow.
Abiding as adoptive parents means staying grounded in compassion — creating a home where a child’s full story can be told, where birth family connections are respected, and where grief can coexist with love.
It also means abiding with their own discomfort. Sometimes, abiding is the quiet work of remaining present in hard conversations, listening when a child expresses pain, or holding steady when love doesn’t look the way they imagined it would.
Together: The Forest of Connection
When each member of the adoption triad chooses to abide — to stay rooted in truth, compassion, and connection — healing becomes possible.
Just as trees in a forest are connected by their roots beneath the soil, so too are the lives within an adoption story connected in ways that may not always be visible, but are deeply felt. Each person’s growth affects the others; each story matters to the whole.
Abide is more than a name. It’s a philosophy of practice — one that honors the complexity of adoption by holding space for all its truths. It invites us to remain — through love, through loss, and through the lifelong process of becoming and belonging.
When we choose to abide, we honor the roots and the branches alike. We tend to the soil of story, nurture growth through compassion, and trust that even through the changing seasons, the tree will continue to grow — strong, resilient, and whole.