Before adoption became part of our work, it was first part of our family story. Four of our seven children joined our family through adoption, and my sister was adopted from China. Adoption has shaped my life from both sides of the story—as a sibling, a parent, and a lifelong learner. What I know now, I learned not from getting everything right, but from listening closely when I got things wrong.

There have been moments when our children have gently told us what felt good—and what didn’t—about how their stories were shared or protected. When one of our children shared that they felt relieved to have control over their own story, it stopped me in my tracks. That moment became a turning point. It reminded me that adoption isn’t about having the answers—it’s about being willing to learn, unlearn, and listen.

Adoption education is love because it requires humility. It asks us to grow alongside our children, to acknowledge our mistakes, and to let their voices guide us.

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Adoption Is Not Ownership—It’s Stewardship

At its core, adoption is a lifelong commitment to learning, humility, and love in action. When we say adoption education is love, we mean that informed, intentional parenting is one of the greatest gifts adoptive parents can offer their child.

Adoption does not give parents ownership over a child’s story, identity, or emotions. Instead, it invites parents into a role of stewardship—the responsibility to care for, protect, and nurture a child while honoring their past, their losses, and their individuality.

For our family, this has been a guiding principle from day one—thanks in part to one of the previous Abide owners, Joe, who taught us this early on. Parenting our adopted children has meant learning how to respect their histories and protect their stories. We make it clear that their experiences and feelings belong to them—not to us—and that they have the right to decide how and when their story is shared.

Our children have shared that they feel honoured by this approach—that their voices and choices are respected. That is one of the most profound rewards of adoption education: watching a child feel empowered in their own life.

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Why Adoption Education Matters

Children who are adopted often experience early loss, trauma, or disrupted attachment—even when adopted at birth. These experiences can shape how a child understands safety, trust, and relationships. Each of our adopted children’s stories is vastly different, and yet we have seen the impact of early loss woven into each of them in unique ways.

Adoption education helps parents:

• Understand trauma-informed parenting
• Recognize signs of grief, loss, and attachment challenges
• Respond to behavior with empathy rather than punishment
• Support emotional regulation and identity development
• Build trust through connection, not correction

When parents are educated, children feel safer.
When children feel safer, healing becomes possible.

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Parenting an Adopted Child Requires Ongoing Learning

Adoption education is not a one-time seminar—it’s a lifelong journey. As children grow, their understanding of adoption changes. Questions that didn’t exist at age three may feel urgent and emotional at age thirteen.

Educated adoptive parents are better prepared to:

• Answer hard questions honestly and age-appropriately
• Talk openly about adoption without shame or secrecy
• Support cultural, racial, and identity development
• Advocate for their child at school, in healthcare, and in community spaces

By protecting our children’s stories and allowing them to guide how their history is shared, we reinforce their sense of agency. It communicates a powerful message:

“Your story matters, and I’m willing to grow for you.”

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Love Looks Like Preparation

Many people believe that love alone will heal everything. While love is essential, prepared love is transformative.

Adoption education is love because it says:

• I will learn before I lead
• I will listen before I explain
• I will seek understanding before judgment
• I will prioritize my child’s needs over my comfort

This kind of love builds resilience, trust, and lifelong connection.

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Adoption Education Benefits the Whole Family

When adoptive parents are educated, the entire family system benefits:

• Parents feel more confident and less overwhelmed
• Siblings gain understanding and empathy
• Children feel seen, validated, and supported
• Families are better equipped to navigate challenges together

Education doesn’t eliminate hard moments—but it equips families to face them with compassion and strength.

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At Abide Adoption, We Believe Education Is Essential

At Abide Adoption, we believe ethical adoption must be grounded in education, transparency, and trauma-informed care. Adoption education is not an optional extra—it is foundational to healthy, lifelong adoption relationships.

Because adoption education is love.
And love is a lifelong commitment to learning, listening, and protecting the stories of those we cherish most.